BOOKED EVERY NIGHT

1. What is your favorite cuss word?

 

 

Without a doubt my favorite cuss word is fuck. I love it so much that I swear I use it like a comma. I, fucking, love it. With that said, somehow I make it through the day while I’m surrounding by my spawn and other children without saying it.

 

 

2. What foodstuff can't you live without?

 

 

It’s not food but I cannot live without Red Bull. I have an unhealthy addiction, obviously it’s unhealthy because Red Bull IS unhealthy. Whatever. But if I had to go a day without it I would die. Literally, stop functioning and die!

 

 

3. You're in the throws of passion with your partner when you decide you want to try some light BDSM. What object do you use? (First object on your left)

 

 

A remote. Wonder if we could change the channels by spanking each other with it? Hmmmm….

 

 

4. What is the first application you open on your laptop/computer when you log on?

 

 

Spotify. I need music like I need air. In fact, I wish I could walk around life and constantly have music playing in the background. That would be an epic soundtrack.

 

 

5. If you could have been called any name at all, what would it have been?

 

 

My parents almost named me Lexi and I hate them everyday for not doing it. Then I could have been Sexy Lexi…well maybe not the sexy part, but in my mind I could have been.

 

 

6. You're asked to participate in a three-legged race; who is your partner? This is a tough one.

 

 

My partner would have to be my best friend, Ernie. No she’s not really named Ernie, there’s a long story for another time. I’d choose her because she’s just as psychotically competitive as me and I’m pretty sure we share a brain.

 

 

7. What came first; the chicken or the egg? Why?

 

 

Holy Hell. Getting all philosophical on my ass. I thought this was supposed to be a fun interview! Well lemme break it down for you. The rooster came first. I don’t think I need to explain myself any further.

 

 

8. Donald Trump, Kanye West, Seth Rogan. Snog/Marry/Avoid?

 

 

These are terrible choices. And isn’t the game Fuck/Marry/Kill? That’s what I’m gonna play. Well Kayne would be my lay. But I’d want to duct tape his mouth shut. “Yo Ashley, this sex is good but Imma tell you Beyonce is the best ever!” Yeah I can’t have that happening. I’d marry Seth Rogan because he could entertain me all day every day. Humor is important to me. I would kill Donald Trump. But not before I looked at him and said, “Donald, you’re fired.”

 

 

9. If you were stranded on a desert island and had to listen to three songs for the rest of your days, what would they be?

 

 

Say Something by A Great Big World, Story of My Life by One Direction (this is a recent and unhealthy obsession for me. Why yes I caught myself Youtubing One Direction videos at midnight last week. Why yes I do know a lot about Niall and Harry. Don’t judge me.) and Little Wonders by Rob Thomas. I’d probably end up offing myself with depression, but I fucking love those songs. See there I go again, using fuck as a comma.

 

 

10. Which celebrity couple (real or fictional) would have the weirdest looking child?

 

 

If anybody was to have a baby with Steve Buscemi it would have to be the weirdest looking child. I mean, c’mon, have you seen him. *shivers Dude is hella creepy looking.

 

 

11. If you could make a guest appearance in a fellow author's book, what book would it be, and what would happen?

 

 

This is super hard because there are so many fictional worlds that I would love to live in. Yes, I’m a geek and a loser. Suck it. With that said, I would probably most like to star in Jillian Dodd’s The Keatyn Chronicles. However, if I was to do that I would also want to travel in a time machine so I could be 17 and take advantage of all the hot boys.

 

 

12. Self portrait: